nut hugger
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sobbing to NWA
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
A bitchslap is in order.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
