fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
