I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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