so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
