My sheets look like a crime scene.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
