I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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