he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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