im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
