'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
