I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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