the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
