I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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