did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
