i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
