Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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