And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
