Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
