one might say we're banned from that church
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
