that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
