i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
