I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
