3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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