I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
