I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
