Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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