I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
soo... how was my night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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