whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
