I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
