so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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