My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
