You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
