Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
