I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
