i jhust puked up my retainher.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
