I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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