maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
