"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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