Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
