If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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