East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
