Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
