Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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