Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
