covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
