i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
