"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
