Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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