omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
