you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
