even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
