A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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