I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
